25. The saddest BnB in Poland

Nightmare fuel.

Left leg was cramping up badly on the ride into Augustow in northern Poland (location). It was time for a relaxing night, and luckily there was a cheap BnB with rooms available and glowing reviews: 4.6/5 on Google.

I was immediately greeted by the host, a man who looked like a greasier version of Onslow from the British sitcom Keeping up appearance.

Onslow.

I parked my bike near the terrifying cat sculptures and settled into the room, and can now say with certainty that I have seen all the shades of brown that exist in this world.

Most beautiful swamp of 1893.

The horror.

The horror...

Famous local serial killer.

Famous regional serial killer.

No way I'm sitting down on that.

Beautiful.

Water boiler was pre-filled with slimey water. Nice of them.

Noone knows how many people have slept here since the last time they cleaned the bed clothes.

Or why you have to sleep directly on the mattress underneath. Luckily I had the sleeping bag to sleep in.

I was stupid enough to have my arms outside of the sleeping bag during the night, and when I woke up they there covered in bed bug bites.

When the sun rose I noticed the bloody thumb print on the radiator, and now it was time for breakfast.

The packaged cheddar cheese was the only thing that seemed edible, and then it was time to check out.

I am looking very much forward toward the luxury of sleeping in the forest tonight, far, far away from Stary Dom B&B.